Book Buzz: The Wives

The Wives: A Memoir by Simone Gorrindo

According to the U.S. Department of Defense, there are currently 2 million uniformed military personnel in the United States with 2.6 million family members. Journalist Simone Gorrindo shines a light on one subset of these military families: army wives. Her nonfiction account provides a portrait of the women she met at Fort Benning in Columbus, Georgia, over the course of five years, from 2012 to 2017.

Gorrindo is herself an army wife, albeit a reluctant one. Back when they were dating, her then-boyfriend Andrew casually mentioned an interest in joining the military. Her immediate response: “I would leave you.” To her, the only people who joined the military when there wasn’t a draft “must be either true believers, from military families, or out of options. Andrew was none of those things.” 

Several years passed. Then, while Gorrindo was attending graduate school in New York City, Andrew admitted he hadn’t stopped thinking about enlisting. What’s more: He was committed to going through with it. They had been together for four years. They couldn’t imagine life without one another. They got married. Nine days later, Andrew left for almost 11 months of training.

Assigned to a rapidly deployable combat unit in Columbus, the couple rented a house off the base where Simone would meet her first and best friend, an army wife named Rachel, who lived across the street. Armed with fresh-baked chocolate chip cookies and offers of late-night wine, Rachel helped Gorrindo acclimate, teaching her vocabulary and protocol and most importantly, welcoming her into the network of other wives.

It’s a crash course. Gorrindo is not sure if she’ll fit in. At 28, she’s older than many of her peers, more educated, less Christian. She lived in New York City, she “had a life,” she had a career. But the loneliness and sheer terror she faces as an army wife is a shared experience. The rare and curt phone calls from Afghanistan — they can relate. The terror every time her phone rings with a “red message” with reports of serious events abroad. They get it.

The changes noted in their husbands when they return home: constant use of profanity, bursts of anger, high use of alcohol, the need to spend time with members of their units. The most seasoned wives are unfazed — or else truly bitter. They cope in different ways: skipping social gatherings, not responding to texts, throwing themselves into church life or volunteering. Gorrindo starts a book club, but choosing a book that doesn’t set someone off is a challenge. It is not an easy life, made more difficult by the addition of children to the mix of worry and responsibility.

While “The Wives” could be all about Gorrindo’s opinion of what’s wrong with the modern military or U.S. foreign policy, once her husband enlists, she gains deep appreciation for his work and dedication to country as well as the work of his colleagues. She retains her ability to think critically about it without bashing the men and women who serve. But she makes it abundantly clear that the service is not without sacrifice, and that her effort is made possible by the deep bonds of friendship she’s made with other women who understand what it means to be an army wife.

Christine Perkins is executive director of the Whatcom County Library System, wcls.org.

(Originally published in Cascadia Daily News, Friday, May 30, 2025.)